La Dame de Fer

Suave Frenchy (placing his hand on my arm and looking deeply into my eyes in what I can only imagine is an attempt at empathy): Hay am really sorree about Ze Hi-ron Laydee-uh.

Milk-shakey

In the kitchen, calmly unpacking the shopping, I have just put the carton of milk beside the tap and the washing-up liquid in the fridge.

My question is, why do I never do this in any useful way? Eg putting the 48-page article about the structural implications of the decline of liberal internationalism in the fridge and the large box of Magnum ice lollies next to me on the sofa? Why?

Tooth or consequences

French Dentist: You will need to be careful with your diet for a few days, so steamed asparagus, poached fish or grilled chicken instead of red meat.
Me (painfully):ok.
FD: And as for the aperitif, no red wine, only white wine or champagne.
Me (wincing): Not applicable, to be honest. What about Coca-cola?
FD: No. And no coffee either. You can have the occasional tea, but only through a straw.
Me (thinks ruefully): You would never get a foody talking-to like this in the UK.