More blue eyes

Man-in-the-street: Excuse me, can I just have a look at your eyes?
Me (embarrassed). eh, what?
M-i-t-s: How do you get that line around them? I was in love with a woman once and she had blue eyes like yours. How do you get that line? It's amazing.
Me: Err...haha...errr
M-i-t-s (walks off, muttering to himself)
Man-I-am-actually-with: Well now! Just goes to show how many of us have been given the run-around, eh?

Uphill cycling

Me, slumped on train after cycling round town trying to park my bike post-badminton.
Man with bike on funicular: Hello!
Me (smiles uneasily but then thinks..hmmm): Can I just ask you, are we allowed to bring bikes on the train, then?
M-w-b-o-f (snuggles in next to me without even being asked): Well, you are allowed to take them uphill but not down.
Me: Ah, I see. I wish I had known that before I rode round town for half an hour.
M-w-b-o-f: Are you married?

At the cash machine

Woman-slumped-next-to-cash-machine-holding-baby: mutter...mutter...mutter
Me(putting card in): No, I don't give money to beggars on the street, please go away.
W-s-n-t-c-m-h-b: mutter...mutter..mutter
Me(peering at screen): Oh for God's sake! Where is my bloody money? Now what's wrong?
W-s-n-t-c-m-h-b: I was trying to tell you, it's not working.

blue eyes

Man in cable car: Have you got blue eyes?
Me(nose pressed up against his chest due to the throng of skiers): erm, well, yes, erm...
Man(shouts over his shoulder): Hey Laurent! There's one over here with blue eyes and dark hair! Come and have a look!
Me: Oh God, Oh God....(endures the rest of the trip then bolts out of the door like a scalded cat when the telecabine stops)

The chugger

Pesterer (whispering into my ear on the street): Mademoiselle, you are charming, I just want to discuss something with you...
Me: I don't think so (walks on)
Another pesterer: Mademoiselle! Do you by any chance have a cigarette for me?
Me: No! Go away!(walks on)
Yet another pesterer: approaches, muttering something I can't quite make out
Me: Oh, for God's sake! Just bugger off, will you? I have had enough now!

A few metres further on, I see a whole group of them together. That's when I realise I have just said bugger to a chugger.

Not what they seem

Me: scampering to work, at the top of some stairs, I see a couple of crusty-looking, shabbily-dressed characters hanging around at the bottom. They look very dodgy. Late for the bus, I decide to carry on.
Crusty: (in French) stop, please, I need to talk to you....
Me: (in English) I don't speak French (strides on)
Crusty (running alongside now, clutches at my sleeve): Yurss, yurss, pleese, I am speaking ze Eeeengleeesh...sturp..sturp
Me: Oh, bugger off. If you don't, I will call the police.
Crusty(lets go and drops back): pleese...pleese...I really need talk weez you
Me (relieved): strides on with nose in air, around the corner and straight onto a FILM SET.

Turns out the crusties were runners. Ooops.