Dog Days

(At the dog playground)

Frenchy (manfully restraining a swashbuckling, moustache-twirling King Charles Spaniel): That's a bitch, isn't it? And it looks like she is on heat.
Me (wearily wearing a squealing, squirming Jack Russell as a hat): What makes you say that?

Moonstruck

Confused Parent (over breakfast): You know there was a Supermoon last night?
Me (reading paper): hhhmmm
CP: Well, you can still see it. There is an enormous half-moon over there in the sky, it's really bright.
Me (squinting): Where? I can't see it.
CP (points): There! Over the top of that hill.
Me (gets up, peers through window): Do you mean those clouds? They are a bit pinky.
CP (irritated, points): NO! Its a great big luminous white half-circle! Right THERE! LOOK!
Me (panicking, thinks): Bloody hell, my eyes really are bad. I can't see a thing. Or maybe it's my brain? It could be a tumour. Oh God...Oh God...making doctor's appointment for 9am tomorrow..this is it now..the end..
CP: Oh, hang on a minute. It's the reflection from the kitchen light. You can only see it from where I am sitting. (Blithely) Silly me!