Deer me

Me (mock serious): What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Stavros (confused): Erm...I don't know...a blind fish?
Me (gleeful): No! A FSH! FSSSSSHHHH!

...later....

Me and Stavros (giggling): What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Stavroula (resigned): No idea.
Me and Stavros (hysterical giggling): No! That is a DEER with no eyes!....alright then, so what do you call a DEER with NO EYES and NO LEGS?
Stavroula (disdainful): What the f**k kind of deer is that?

The bag of dogs

TC: I can't finish my croque monsieur. Can we have a sac-de-chiens?
Waitress (laughing openly): Zat is not what we call eet in France.
TC: How do you say doggy bag in French, then?
W (with amused irony): Le doggee-bag.
TC: Aha! Mercredi beaucoup!

We'll have nun of that

In some forgotten corner of a far-flung newsroom.....

Colleague: Have you got anything to munch?

Me (scrabbling in bag): Believe it or not, there's a Tunnocks teacake in here somewhere (whips it out with a flourish) Here it is!

Colleague (eyes gleaming): Where did you get that from?

Me: I stole it from a nun. Fact.