Daddy's home.....

Stray (on phone): Yeah, no, it's been great, mate. We went to the Grand Palais, they have this exhibition on about Dennis Hopper..
Me (lounging, struggling to speak as mouth stuffed with Jelly Babies from M&S on Champs Elysees): Edward Hopper. It was Edward.

rouler une galoche

Can't believe I have just learned this phrase from the little old lady sitting next to me in the hairdresser's.

They may look small, frail and vulnerable but they are minxes, make no mistake.

(It is too rude to get past the Rosbiff censors, so you will have to look it up. Try Wordreference.)

Queen's Pork Rodents

Heard on the football round-up on France Inter just now: "....ze next match weel be against ze Landan clurb Queens Porc Rongeurs".

This prompted me to consider other possible football team howlers. Kidderminster Arrieres was the best I could come up with. Also Glasgow Rongeurs, although obviously I wouldn't say that to their faces, no.

Piles of fun

Me (chewing pen top thoughtfully): I don't have hemorrhoids.
French Banker: What?
Me (pointing at form): It asks here "Have you ever had hospital treatment for hemorrhoids? Or a nose job?"
FB (reading form upside down from across the desk): No,no, it means have you ever been in hospital apart from hemorrhoids or a nose job.
Me (giggling): I did wonder what that had to do with anything.
FB (tries and fails to pull disapproving Paddington Stare): You shouldn't mock, Rosbiff. It is a very painful condition.