Rat-ification

Imagine, once again, my surprise when I found five human-sized rats, tails casually looped over their arms, contentedly drinking cider while sitting on the platform waiting for the 0903 to London this morning.

They scampered ahead of me through the barrier in London and I saw they were met by a beaming Scooby-Doo, clutching a can of Carlsberg.

Is fancy dress a new craze in the UK?

Habemus papem

Imagine my surprise when I got on the bus today to discover the driver dressed in full papal regalia, including zucchetto (had to look that one up).

Came over all English and pointedly ignored his get-up and carried on as normal as, reassuringly, did everyone who got on after me until the poor pontiff/bus driver was forced to cry out in exasperation "It's for charity!".

People you always see #1

Binmen wearing Santa hats.

Skype Hype

Piggy: Can you see me yet?
Me: Not quite. You have a point d'interrogation (question mark) for a head.
Piggy: Oh, that's ME, definitely.

Penguin Decay

Me(muttering to self in library while searching IMMENSE catalogue):..ok, here goes..author is Miller, D...bounded citizenship....(uses one finger on keyboard)
Search result: "First measurement of the rate for the inclusive radiative penguin decay b~sy...an Aavor-changing neutral current process described by a penguin diagram in which virtual W is exchanged in a loop with a top quark......"
Me(recoiling in horror): Oh God, oh God...don't think that is the right Miller(peers again at screen)at least, I hope it's not..is that even in English?