The bag of dogs

TC: I can't finish my croque monsieur. Can we have a sac-de-chiens?
Waitress (laughing openly): Zat is not what we call eet in France.
TC: How do you say doggy bag in French, then?
W (with amused irony): Le doggee-bag.
TC: Aha! Mercredi beaucoup!

We'll have nun of that

In some forgotten corner of a far-flung newsroom.....

Colleague: Have you got anything to munch?

Me (scrabbling in bag): Believe it or not, there's a Tunnocks teacake in here somewhere (whips it out with a flourish) Here it is!

Colleague (eyes gleaming): Where did you get that from?

Me: I stole it from a nun. Fact.