Infidelity card

(queuing at till in hypermarket)

Lady behind till: Do you have a fidelity card?
Man in front of me: No.
Me (chirps up, despite knowing that remaining silent is always the best option): I have! (waves card)
LBT (laughing): No, sorry, it has to be him.
MIFOM: I am afraid I am completely infidele (gently places hand on top of mine on belt and looks soulfully into my eyes)..but only when it comes to shopping, that is....



(Translation note: Fidelity card means store loyalty card in the UK)