Piles of fun

Me (chewing pen top thoughtfully): I don't have hemorrhoids.
French Banker: What?
Me (pointing at form): It asks here "Have you ever had hospital treatment for hemorrhoids? Or a nose job?"
FB (reading form upside down from across the desk): No,no, it means have you ever been in hospital apart from hemorrhoids or a nose job.
Me (giggling): I did wonder what that had to do with anything.
FB (tries and fails to pull disapproving Paddington Stare): You shouldn't mock, Rosbiff. It is a very painful condition.