Me: ...so anyway, that's two days now without internet, you have to understand, for me it's everything, TV, radio, telephone, email. Imagine if I had an accident! No one would know! Plus I am moving next week, worst time for it to go off. This only ever happens to me, it's not fair etc etc (continues plaintive squeaking for several minutes)
Computer expert (interrupting in a voice muffled by a large pile of boxes): I'll just put the plug back in the socket, shall I?. That'll be 49 euros, ta.
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