Guns, butter, anarchy...

The sound of gunfire and hovering helicopters from the nearby military garrison is providing much-needed motivation for my revision ahead of tomorrow morning's exam in the theories of international relations.
Thank you, boys.

Don't tell him, Pike! (French election special)

Heard this morning on Today, BBC Radio Four:

Jacques Attali: There is no currency without a state. And the euro is a currency - so, if you follow the logical progression...a state will follow.
Presenter Evan Davis (in a very British tone of polite disapproval): And have you mentioned this to the Germans?

You AR missing something

Notice on the back of the door in a toilet cubicle in the gym:

Ladies, please use the bin provided to dispose of your sanity products.

It's wi-fi, not sci-fi.

Me: So, is there a code for your wifi, then?
Travel Bunny: Yes. BFFGUBB1.
Me (typing myopically with one finger): No, that hasn't worked. Did you say B or V?
TB: Oh, for God's sake. B****r, F**k, F**k, Greggs, Uniform, B*****s, Blyth, 1.
Me (giggling): That's it. Hooray!
TB: It's the Geordie phonetic alphabet, pet.

Cafe ou claque?

In kitchen...

 Me (bleating): ..and it was REALLY raining by now, cats and dogs, and then, the bus driver asked me how I got on the bus, even though I had just walked past him, and then a drunk got on the bus, and THEN the bus stopped and the driver said it was the terminus and I had to get off and cross the road and wait for another one, and THEN...

Suave Frenchy (interrupting, having listened to enough): Do you want coffee or a smack?

Beanz Meanz Peaz

Laney: Yeah, its called "The Voice", and Tom Jones is on it and some guy, I dunno, Will-I-Am from the Black-Eyed Beans?
Me: PEAS. They're the Black-eyed PEAS.

Toilet training

Day Three of living in the clutches of an unreconstructed latin MACHO:

(In bathroom, just finishing up, I glance down at toilet lid and think to myself:) hhmmmmm...time for a small, individual act of defiance, perhaps?

I slip out, leaving the seat firmly DOWN.

Coming over all Cuire

French banker: I have been thinking. What about Cuire? That's a nice neighbourhood as well, and not too far out.
Me: Queer? No!

Carpeted at the UN

(Leaving council chamber)
Swiss Dave: Honestly, what were they thinking putting carpet down here? With all the footfall coming through? Tiles would have been much more practical.

Sardine modesty

Me (joking via email): How will I recognise you? It's been a while.
Sardine (via email reply):I'll be the gorgeous guy in top shape standing with a unresistable smile in the middle of the square... ;)

See ya at 16h30!