Lecturer(writing on board):...Thus we can easily determine the meaning of the word from the following semantic analysis..the initial participle in the word "democracy" comes from the latin word, "demos", meaning "the people"...
Greek student(interrupting): That's a greek word, actually.
L: Is it?
GS:Yes.
L:Are you sure?
GS: Yes.
L: I have never been corrected on that one before.
Liberate The Minx
Friday, 20 January 2012
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Know your onions
MG(muffled voice due to nose in fridge): What's that? Eh? What?
LG: What on earth are you doing?
MG(shutting fridge door): I though I could hear the onions singing, but no, its just the CHIVES TALKING!!!!!
ME: hysterical squeaking for HALF AN HOUR
LG: What on earth are you doing?
MG(shutting fridge door): I though I could hear the onions singing, but no, its just the CHIVES TALKING!!!!!
ME: hysterical squeaking for HALF AN HOUR
Thursday, 5 January 2012
A bummer for Bomber
(In kitchen): beep-beep..beep-beep..beep-beep...beep-beep..beep-beep...
Bomber (alarmed): What the f***'s that? (looks around wildly) F*****g Hell! Is that my pacemaker?
Me (gripping worktop for support due to hysterical cackling): No. You've got your bum up against the timer on the cooker.
Bomber (alarmed): What the f***'s that? (looks around wildly) F*****g Hell! Is that my pacemaker?
Me (gripping worktop for support due to hysterical cackling): No. You've got your bum up against the timer on the cooker.
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Rat-ification
Imagine, once again, my surprise when I found five human-sized rats, tails casually looped over their arms, contentedly drinking cider while sitting on the platform waiting for the 0903 to London this morning.
They scampered ahead of me through the barrier in London and I saw they were met by a beaming Scooby-Doo, clutching a can of Carlsberg.
Is fancy dress a new craze in the UK?
They scampered ahead of me through the barrier in London and I saw they were met by a beaming Scooby-Doo, clutching a can of Carlsberg.
Is fancy dress a new craze in the UK?
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Habemus papem
Imagine my surprise when I got on the bus today to discover the driver dressed in full papal regalia, including zucchetto (had to look that one up).
Came over all English and pointedly ignored his get-up and carried on as normal as, reassuringly, did everyone who got on after me until the poor pontiff/bus driver was forced to cry out in exasperation "It's for charity!".
Came over all English and pointedly ignored his get-up and carried on as normal as, reassuringly, did everyone who got on after me until the poor pontiff/bus driver was forced to cry out in exasperation "It's for charity!".
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Skype Hype
Piggy: Can you see me yet?
Me: Not quite. You have a point d'interrogation (question mark) for a head.
Piggy: Oh, that's ME, definitely.
Me: Not quite. You have a point d'interrogation (question mark) for a head.
Piggy: Oh, that's ME, definitely.
Friday, 2 December 2011
Penguin Decay
Me(muttering to self in library while searching IMMENSE catalogue):..ok, here goes..author is Miller, D...bounded citizenship....(uses one finger on keyboard)
Search result: "First measurement of the rate for the inclusive radiative penguin decay b~sy...an Aavor-changing neutral current process described by a penguin diagram in which virtual W is exchanged in a loop with a top quark......"
Me(recoiling in horror): Oh God, oh God...don't think that is the right Miller(peers again at screen)at least, I hope it's not..is that even in English?
Search result: "First measurement of the rate for the inclusive radiative penguin decay b~sy...an Aavor-changing neutral current process described by a penguin diagram in which virtual W is exchanged in a loop with a top quark......"
Me(recoiling in horror): Oh God, oh God...don't think that is the right Miller(peers again at screen)at least, I hope it's not..is that even in English?
Monday, 7 November 2011
Cleavage management
Very brainy person "...to quote Lijphart, Rogowski and Weaver from 1993, empirical studies have shown that there is a strong correlation between the needs of cleavage management in plural societies and the number and importance of non-majoritarian features in their political systems."
Me(worn out after four hours in library and a two hour seminar): I find a good bra works wonders.
Me(worn out after four hours in library and a two hour seminar): I find a good bra works wonders.
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Train of thought
(Conversation overheard on 1743 outward journey from London Marylebone to Oxford, a genteel, middle-class service)
"So, tell me, what is your interest in mushrooms?"
(Conversation overheard on 0800 return journey from Birmingham to London Euston, a no-nonsense high speed beast)
"I have had potato waffles, beans and sausages for breakfast every day this week."
"So, tell me, what is your interest in mushrooms?"
(Conversation overheard on 0800 return journey from Birmingham to London Euston, a no-nonsense high speed beast)
"I have had potato waffles, beans and sausages for breakfast every day this week."
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