You've got no sole

(In the shoe department of a well-known and very middle-class, high-street retailer) 

Elderly lady (waving one trainer in the air): It says these are VEGAN trainers!

Elderly lady's friend (witheringly): What ya ganna dee? Eat them?

Driller Killer

 DIY Helpline Person* (polite):....and is it Miss or Mrs?

Me: Miss...(thinks)...that's why I'm buying a drill.

(extended giggling on both sides)

DIYHP (still giggling):...sorry if you can hear noises in the background, that's my rabbit.

Me (intrigued) : So does he live in the house?

DIYHP: Yes. Because we live in Foxtown.

Me (dim): Oh, where's that then? Scotland?

*Leroy Merlin for Frenchies