One for the Frenchies

(Notice on back of hotel room door):

Supplement pet      15 euros

I know quite a few people who would end up with a very big bill here.

For those who don't know...pet means furry animal in English, but FART in French...)

Itth all jutht too much

Me: I've got some bad news for you.
French colleague: Wet?
Me: Guess who is top of the list of nominees for the Nobel Prize for Literature?
FC: Dunno.
Me: Philip ROTH.
FC: Oh, whore.*




*This is a bad word in French and was not directed at me. I hope not, anyway.

Taking the pith

French colleague: ROSS-ko?
Me: No. ROTH-ko. Put your tongue between your teeth to say it.
FC(waggles tongue obscenely): RRRROOFFFSS-ko!
Me: God, imagine Ross-ko in Mor-pess. What a nightmare that would be for you.
FC: F*****g hell, Muriel!

Crying wolf

(on cafe menu board at lunchtime): filet de loup aux noix de St. Jacques, riz pilaff aux petits legumes

Me: Bloody Hell! (mouth gapes) Fillet of wolf ! Are things that bad in Europe? Are they really eating wildlife here now?
Resigned Stray: It's a fish, you silly cow.